By The Samford Beez
Dear The Beez,
I’m freaking out. Fraternity and sorority recruitment is over. Over the last couple of days, I have opened my mouth to speak and instantly froze. Gone is the “where’s your head at?” and the “where are you hoping to end up?” (phrase) is old news. Nothing seems to be happening now that recruitment is over. I quake and tremble in fear of communicating with anyone but the dude with dreads at Einsteins. What do I talk about?
Sincerely,
Kyle
Boston, Massachusetts
6-1, 180 lbs.
I have an essential truth for you, and then two practical action steps.
There are dozens– no, tens of dozens of people across Samford’s campus who have fallen into this peril. I, myself, the big cheese that I am, have even fallen into this fear. But you are not alone in this devastation. The biggest lie that Satan whispers in your ear is that no one else is struggling with your fear or your anxiety.
My advice is this: find your niche. Ask questions that no one else has ever thought about. Here are a few examples: the foundation of most of my relationships is my insistence on people telling me which subtype of kiwi (animal, obviously) they are. Or be oddly specific about the person’s information, like their social security number or any healthcare information.
And once you’ve found your niche. Don’t overhead social cues – stick to your guns. People say to not read too much in between the lines. I say, don’t even read the lines!
Because sometimes when people say, “What the heck are you saying?” what they’re really saying is, “That was really funny – we should be best friends, and you should be in my wedding.”
As Winston Churchill once said, “We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” Stick to your guns – don’t ever give up.
In Solidarity,
-The Beez
